i was looking at myself in the mirror before a shower the other week. It was a routine pre-shower body stare.
“my body is looking toned… skinny,” i thought to myself. my pupils zoomed into my stomach, waist, collarbones, and arms the way i zoom into photos of myself searching for imperfections. it was strange, but i didn’t think much of it until i noticed myself doing it day-after-day.
it must’ve been ten days before i noticed that something deeper was happening.
i was still in the bathroom examining my body during my pre-shower stare, but this time my inner dialogue said “wait, what the fuck?”
i was critiquing myself; it was subtle, but very real.
i showered as usual, and then scrolled on tiktok while i flossed, and that’s when i noticed. i’d seen Serena Williams and her ro campaign for the third time within the 15-minute screen time i’ve allotted after 9:30 p.m.
and then my outer dialogue said: what the fuck???
